Monday, October 22, 2012
Pains of all kindsl
Last week was definitely a very interesting time in my life...other than the fact that because of a major storm we had the previous week, we had and still have, no internet access. On Wednesday I had an appointment with the surgeon who inserted my PEG, to measure me for a 'mickey' PEG. It was all supposed to be very simple...according to the doctors...however it didn't turn out that way at all. The idea was that the tube initially inserted would be pulled out, the measure inserted and the tube re-inserted - lots of insertions there but anyway!!!!! Soooo the surgeon started pulling on the tube which felt quite tight at first, but the longer and harder she pulled, the tugging tightness turned to pain...excruciating PAIN. A final tug and out popped the tube with a monstrous, okay it wasn't that monstrous but it felt like it, cup like end on it. Needless to say I almost broke my mums fingers with that final jerk and I cried like a baby. Out of a pencil size hole popped this 2cm end and the surgeon looked at it quite bemused. She was most apologetic and as amazed as me at what she had proceeded to yank out of my stomach. Measuring was simple in comparison, but it had become apparent that the tube that had just been removed was not going to go back inside me, so she had to find another , smaller and simpler tube to be inserted to be used until the 'mickey' PEG has arrived and is put in... The next major happening in my life, was almost as painful...but a different kind of pain indeed. My boyfriend and I split up....It was all very amicable and we have decided to stay friends, but it just wasn't working out for us. This has made me think in the last couple of days of the pain that we all deal with in our lives. For some it is physical and for others emotional. At some point we deal with both kinds in our lives and we all have to cope by ourselves, picking up the pieces in some cases and pulling ourselves together...re-building our lives...moving forward...whatever it takes to deal with that pain. AND no one can tell us what we are feeling or compare their pain with someone elses because we all feel things differently. As for my emotional pain, I will heal with time....the physical pain has already healed, just a memory...something that lingers in my mind but I know longer feel. So next time you hear someone talking about their particular pain, lend an ear and listen to them and don't compare your pain with theirs because it's not about you...or me... At that time, but theirs. So this me, once again, *Fabulous and Fighting* <3
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